When you want to deepen your bond with your spouse, learning how to communicate better can be a gamechanger. 

People don’t enter a marriage planning for a divorce, yet an estimated 41% of first marriages end that way. While many factors contribute to a marriage ending, a lack of communication remains one of the most significant.

Sometimes, communicating with your spouse can feel like an impossible task. As you think about the one-sided conversations or short remarks, maybe you find yourself putting your communication skills on autopilot. It gets the job done, right?

Not so much.

Maintaining a long-term relationship requires consistent effort and care, and communication plays a critical role in that. However, we understand how easy it is to let life get in the way. If this sounds like you, do not fret. There are still several healthy relationship habits you can practice to learn how to communicate better.

Here are five ways you can talk more effectively with your spouse:

1. Dedicate Time Each Day To Talking: If you find yourself getting swept up in daily responsibilities and you just can’t seem to find the time to reconnect with your partner — make the time.Without regular communication, relationships are more likely to drift apart. To avoid this disconnect in your relationship, dedicate time each day to reconnecting with your spouse through meaningful conversation. It can be an hour or a simple 10-15 minutes where you catch up on the day. This can be done by going on a brief walk around the block, sitting on your couch or right before bed.
2. Encouraging Open-Ended Questions: Asking open-ended questions encourages longer conversation and can help you steer clear of the typical, autopilot responses. For example, when you ask “How was your day?” your spouse might respond with just one word, like “fine” or “good,” and the conversation could quickly end.Instead, try asking questions that will ignite a longer conversation, like “What was your favorite part of today?” or even “What made you laugh today?” By asking these types of questions, you are inviting deeper connection and giving your spouse the opportunity to share more meaningful thoughts and feelings.
3. Turn off distractions: Technology has made life easy in a lot of different ways, but when it comes to relationships, it also has its downsides. While it might seem tempting to relax by watching TV after work or scrolling through your phone during date night, too many distractions can have a significantly negative impact on the health of your relationship.Remember, your spouse deserves your undivided attention. We’re not saying you need to turn off technology forever, but make an effort to eliminate distraction during your dedicated conversation time. This will help your partner feel valued as they talk to you about their day and it could spark more interactive conversation.
4. Don’t forget about nonverbal communication: You may have heard the saying Actions Speak Louder Than Words, and that’s where nonverbal communication comes into play.Try small, simple gestures to connect with your partner. These can include anything from giving them a hug from behind as they cook to smiling at them from across the room or holding their hand during your weekly trip to the grocery store.
5. Keep Things Light From Time To Time: Sometimes, a relationship requires deep or serious conversations; but remember that it also needs a bit of fun. Engaging in laughter and playful moments can not only strengthen the bond with your spouse, but it can create lasting memories between the two of you. Simple, lighthearted conversations – like sharing a random dream, seeing who can come up with the cheesiest pun, or playing a spontaneous game of ‘Would You Rather?’ – can all help keep the fun alive.

Life is full of ups and downs, from hectic months to those that seem to just drag on. It’s only natural for communication in a relationship to fluctuate, but it’s crucial to always stay connected with your partner.

There are so many different ways you can communicate, whether it’s through nonverbal communication or by simply taking the time to ask about their day. As you learn how to communicate better with your spouse, remember that every relationship is unique and will require its own communication methods to thrive.

For more information about how to communicate better from the team at So Far In Life, please contact us here.